Stuff i watch. (Seriously. That's all this blog post is about.)

Right. So Jo and I have decided that since we pay good money for foxtel, we're damn well going to watch it. This may or may not mean we've spent an (un)healthy amount of time vegetating on the couch lately. I'll never tell.




We've made good use of our IQ button. We've gone ahead and taped about a billion movies and series linked many a bad reality TV show, and my ice-cream and jatz intake has tripled and I've turned into a fat lard, and now i really do feel like I'm getting what i paid for, and it is good.




What are the highlights, you ask? Let's review:



Movies

Changeling. You know, the one where Angelina Jolie plays a single mother back in the 20s who's kid gets kidnapped. Joy of joys, they find said kid, only it is not, in fact, said kid. See folks, police back then were totally corrupt. To return to the publics good graces, they go ahead and return any old kid back to Ang, hoping she simply won't notice. Good thinking guys. Angelina spends the next 90 minutes either in or on the verge of tears, desperately pleading for the police to please believe that this is "NOT MY SON!" Since she won't let up, they decide to chuck her in a mental institution, as you do. I won't spoil the ending for you, and jokes aside, i thought old Ang played the role very well. I'll give it a B.




Precious. Hands down the most depressing movie ever made. Ever, for reals. There's not even a particularly happy ending. It's just ALL BAD. First of all, she has an abusive mother. This woman's a real kick. Emotional torture is the nicest way to put it, and lets throw some violence in for good measure. Second of all, her father's been raping her since she was three. What a guy. She goes ahead and has his baby, who's born with down syndrome. Before walking out on them, Daddy impregnates her again, which means she has to drop out of school. But Precious wants to learn. A former teacher enrols her in a community college course, and for the first time, she's learning to read and write, even making friends. Then Mommy finds out. Says Precious better go ahead and give that up right about yesterday, and start lining up for welfare instead. Cause Lord knows Mommy could use the money. Baby number two is born, Precious is forced to move out and live in halfway house and guess what? Turns out Daddy had AIDS. And so does Precious. And if that ain't enough, the poor girl is utterly obese. This movie really disturbed me, and that doesn't happen much. Watch it to remember why your life isn't really that bad. B-



My Life in Ruins. TERRIBLE. It's got that actress from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which was Oscar-worthy compared to this crap. She plays a tour guide working in Greece who, through her group of misfit tourists, learns all about life and love and BLAH BLAH BALH. C-, and the only thing that saved it from a D was the Greek scenery.



The Taking of Pelham 123. Now this got panned when it came out, but i rather enjoyed it. I think it's because i love Denzel Washington. No really. I love him, even if he is fat in this film. A train gets hijacked in NYC, and Denzel's the unlucky guy on duty at the Rail Control Centre who ends up talking to the main bad dude, played by John Travolta who frankly, has seen better days. Anyway, Denzel's the only guy John wants to deal with after that, and from there, well, it's the usual action-y type stuff. People get shot, secrets come out, ransom is paid, train nearly derails...yadda yadda yadda and they live happily ever after. I liked it. A solid B.



The Hangover. We've seen it of course, but who can resist second and third viewings. It's movie magic. Naked chinese ninjas, tigers in the bathroom, vegas hooker weddings and a monologue about wolf packs. What more, i ask, could you want? My favourite line? "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except Herpes. That shit'll come back with you." Amen. A+



TV

America's Next Top Model, Season I've Lost Count. I love these gals. The bitchiness does not fail to amuse me, and nor do the meltdowns and the tears and the fights and i especially love it when they have a makeover and have to chop all their hair off, suckers. That's whatcha get if you wanna be a model. Also, can Tyra Banks love herself any more if she tried? I really hope that one day she marries herself and lives happily ever after. The narcissism alone is worth watching for. A!!




Glee. My love for you will never die. When you have long breaks because of stupid things like the Commonwealth Games, (which by the way, nobody gives a rats about because a) of course Australia's going to win everything when our competition is England and New Zealand and b) the Commonwealth is practically dead), I want to cry. I need you, Glee, because you make bad songs like Jump popular again. Plus, you make musical theatre cool, which means there's still hope that I, too, can be cool. My dying wish is that you get Julie Andrews on. Then my life will be complete. Triple A+, and if you don't agree, you obviously need to apply for a new brain.




Relocation Relocation. Look, i like the Lifestyle channel. It doesn't make me a dork, so don't say it does. Even Jo watches this show with me, because hello, who can resist the cuteness that is Phil Spencer and Kirsty Allsop. It's all so British, and the scenery is always nice, and i like to see idiot couples make fools of themselves and faff about instead of making a decision. Faff is a English word, BTW, taught to me by this lady whose blog also gets an A+. She's pretty funny when she's not wasting time at work or being a total smartass. Oh wait, that's always. *sniggers* OK, so a definite A for Relocation Relocation. Moving on to....



Ace of Cakes. You guys, i don't even know why we watch this. It's about a bunch of people who work in a cake shop in Baltimore. BUT ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! Firstly, they make really cool cakes - not boring ones. Everything they make is totally original, as per the client's orders, which sometimes makes for some random shit. Secondly, the guy that runs the place is called Duff. And that's just plain funny. Thirdly, now that they've gotten more famous, they do cakes for lots of movie premieres and stuff - like, they made Hogwarts Castle for the Harry Potter premiere. I mean. That's just awesome. Right? RIGHT? B +.



The Real Housewives of NYC. OMG. These ladies are rich, and have awesome fights. That's all you need to know. Trash TV at it's guilty best and i am totally addicted. A for the excess.



So, I'm off to watch more TV, and y'all can thank me later for the suggestions.

My side-ponytail-with-a-scrunchie brings all the boys to the yard (or, the 80s make a comeback)

Ah the 80s. Some argue it has a lot to answer for.



But i say this.




It taught us to walk like an Egyptian. That girls just wanna have fun. That love is a battlefield. That we are the world! It gave us teased hair and baggy t-shirts and lacy gloves that served no purpose. It allowed us to express ourselves - blue eye shadow and all. Many a pleasant evening was spent playing pacman or tetris, and if you weren't that cool, there was always hungry hungry hippo. It gave us life long friends, like Mork and Mindy and Kevin Arnold and Alex. P. Keaton and the Huxtables. It gave us hero's, like Mr T and Rico Tubbs, Mr Miyagi and Ferris Bueller. Who, after all is said and done, can forget the great Tom Selleck as Magnum, P.I? And here's another two words for you - Indiana. Jones. We lost ourselves in tragic cinema - The Breakfast Club, Footloose, Dirty Dancing. I still bawl like a baby when i watch E.T. Some of the greatest catch phrases of our generation hail from the 80s. Who ya gonna call? Watchu talkin' bout Willis? Cowabunga dude? And i defy you to find me a decade that spawned a comedy trilogy greater than Back to the Future.




What I'm trying to say is, the 80s was a damn memorable decade. You can poo poo it all you want, but when we headed to the Powerhouse Museum on Sunday for their '80s is Back' exhibition, nothing could wipe the smile off my face.

The cube that boggled a generation.

Jo wastes no time - "computer" games are up first

Awesome graphics.



The Atari - bringing arcade games to your living room for the first time.

Culture Club. I don't even know where to start, but Boy George, i won't forgive you for Karma Chameleon. You really did want to hurt me.

Nothing, and i mean NOTHING, has ever or will ever beat 80s Kylie for me. I STILL rock out to Hand on your heart - the film clip for which she wore this dress. The exhibition also featured some iconic TV moments - like Scott's proposal to Charlene in Neighbours. Je ne sais pas pourquoi.

INXS gave Australia a good, solid rock band - and Michael Hutchence. This is one of his handwritten notebooks, in which he makes a list of things he wants to achieve. Number 4 reads 'Start my own strategy for world domination.'

Boys and their punk

Whoa there. Who let the jumpsuit out?

Ecstasy dance parties. It was OK in the 80s.

P.F Flanagan, whoever you are - i commend your efforts in the war to beat the breathalyser.

Condom Man says - use condoms. And lo, a superhero was born.

It wasn't all glitter and disco balls - the 80s saw the emergence of a new disease called AIDS - and the Australian gay community was one of the first to embrace AIDS prevention through education for EVERYONE - gay or straight. The Australian AIDS quilt project started in 1988 as a memorial for those who had died from the disease.

Wedding dress inspiration - Jo was thrilled to hear I'd be incorporating those off-the-shoulder sleeves in mine.

Me, loving the Madonna-inspired fashions of the decade. WHY oh WHY can't i wear a pink polka dot pleated skirt with matching shoes in public anymore? *despairs*

The national objective in 1985 was to stay alive.

80s toys - cabbage patch kids and Garfield and strawberry shortcake. I'm sure i had a tea-pot that was really a dolls house. And a glow worm.

Seriously, does anyone else remember these?? Were they from McDonald's?? Am i dreaming that??

Typical girls bedroom in the 80s, complete with garish graffiti-inspired bedspread, mini boom box and totally rad movie posters.

And that was just a taste of what we saw - if you grew up in the 80s, I'm sure you'll get a laugh out of this exhibition. GO. SEE. IT. You'll be humming Pat Benetar all the way back home.