Stuff i watch. (Seriously. That's all this blog post is about.)

Right. So Jo and I have decided that since we pay good money for foxtel, we're damn well going to watch it. This may or may not mean we've spent an (un)healthy amount of time vegetating on the couch lately. I'll never tell.




We've made good use of our IQ button. We've gone ahead and taped about a billion movies and series linked many a bad reality TV show, and my ice-cream and jatz intake has tripled and I've turned into a fat lard, and now i really do feel like I'm getting what i paid for, and it is good.




What are the highlights, you ask? Let's review:



Movies

Changeling. You know, the one where Angelina Jolie plays a single mother back in the 20s who's kid gets kidnapped. Joy of joys, they find said kid, only it is not, in fact, said kid. See folks, police back then were totally corrupt. To return to the publics good graces, they go ahead and return any old kid back to Ang, hoping she simply won't notice. Good thinking guys. Angelina spends the next 90 minutes either in or on the verge of tears, desperately pleading for the police to please believe that this is "NOT MY SON!" Since she won't let up, they decide to chuck her in a mental institution, as you do. I won't spoil the ending for you, and jokes aside, i thought old Ang played the role very well. I'll give it a B.




Precious. Hands down the most depressing movie ever made. Ever, for reals. There's not even a particularly happy ending. It's just ALL BAD. First of all, she has an abusive mother. This woman's a real kick. Emotional torture is the nicest way to put it, and lets throw some violence in for good measure. Second of all, her father's been raping her since she was three. What a guy. She goes ahead and has his baby, who's born with down syndrome. Before walking out on them, Daddy impregnates her again, which means she has to drop out of school. But Precious wants to learn. A former teacher enrols her in a community college course, and for the first time, she's learning to read and write, even making friends. Then Mommy finds out. Says Precious better go ahead and give that up right about yesterday, and start lining up for welfare instead. Cause Lord knows Mommy could use the money. Baby number two is born, Precious is forced to move out and live in halfway house and guess what? Turns out Daddy had AIDS. And so does Precious. And if that ain't enough, the poor girl is utterly obese. This movie really disturbed me, and that doesn't happen much. Watch it to remember why your life isn't really that bad. B-



My Life in Ruins. TERRIBLE. It's got that actress from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which was Oscar-worthy compared to this crap. She plays a tour guide working in Greece who, through her group of misfit tourists, learns all about life and love and BLAH BLAH BALH. C-, and the only thing that saved it from a D was the Greek scenery.



The Taking of Pelham 123. Now this got panned when it came out, but i rather enjoyed it. I think it's because i love Denzel Washington. No really. I love him, even if he is fat in this film. A train gets hijacked in NYC, and Denzel's the unlucky guy on duty at the Rail Control Centre who ends up talking to the main bad dude, played by John Travolta who frankly, has seen better days. Anyway, Denzel's the only guy John wants to deal with after that, and from there, well, it's the usual action-y type stuff. People get shot, secrets come out, ransom is paid, train nearly derails...yadda yadda yadda and they live happily ever after. I liked it. A solid B.



The Hangover. We've seen it of course, but who can resist second and third viewings. It's movie magic. Naked chinese ninjas, tigers in the bathroom, vegas hooker weddings and a monologue about wolf packs. What more, i ask, could you want? My favourite line? "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except Herpes. That shit'll come back with you." Amen. A+



TV

America's Next Top Model, Season I've Lost Count. I love these gals. The bitchiness does not fail to amuse me, and nor do the meltdowns and the tears and the fights and i especially love it when they have a makeover and have to chop all their hair off, suckers. That's whatcha get if you wanna be a model. Also, can Tyra Banks love herself any more if she tried? I really hope that one day she marries herself and lives happily ever after. The narcissism alone is worth watching for. A!!




Glee. My love for you will never die. When you have long breaks because of stupid things like the Commonwealth Games, (which by the way, nobody gives a rats about because a) of course Australia's going to win everything when our competition is England and New Zealand and b) the Commonwealth is practically dead), I want to cry. I need you, Glee, because you make bad songs like Jump popular again. Plus, you make musical theatre cool, which means there's still hope that I, too, can be cool. My dying wish is that you get Julie Andrews on. Then my life will be complete. Triple A+, and if you don't agree, you obviously need to apply for a new brain.




Relocation Relocation. Look, i like the Lifestyle channel. It doesn't make me a dork, so don't say it does. Even Jo watches this show with me, because hello, who can resist the cuteness that is Phil Spencer and Kirsty Allsop. It's all so British, and the scenery is always nice, and i like to see idiot couples make fools of themselves and faff about instead of making a decision. Faff is a English word, BTW, taught to me by this lady whose blog also gets an A+. She's pretty funny when she's not wasting time at work or being a total smartass. Oh wait, that's always. *sniggers* OK, so a definite A for Relocation Relocation. Moving on to....



Ace of Cakes. You guys, i don't even know why we watch this. It's about a bunch of people who work in a cake shop in Baltimore. BUT ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! Firstly, they make really cool cakes - not boring ones. Everything they make is totally original, as per the client's orders, which sometimes makes for some random shit. Secondly, the guy that runs the place is called Duff. And that's just plain funny. Thirdly, now that they've gotten more famous, they do cakes for lots of movie premieres and stuff - like, they made Hogwarts Castle for the Harry Potter premiere. I mean. That's just awesome. Right? RIGHT? B +.



The Real Housewives of NYC. OMG. These ladies are rich, and have awesome fights. That's all you need to know. Trash TV at it's guilty best and i am totally addicted. A for the excess.



So, I'm off to watch more TV, and y'all can thank me later for the suggestions.

To see the summer sky is poetry...

So wrote Emily Dickinson, and so say I! (I know. I may as well be shouting Hark! to the heavens while I'm at it. Whatevs.)

Anyway, my point is - Summer is soooo totally on its way peeps. We've had like 4 hot, steamy days in a row, and yeah OK, today it all took a turn for the worse, but this has surely got to be the last winter chill right? RIGHT?

PLUS, its true - there's nothing like a summer sky (hey, cheese ain't a crime.) This is how i know it's coming...

*giddy* Even when the clouds roll in before a storm, its way better. Y'all know I'm right. In other news, Jo and I went to see that Joaquin Phoenix movie 'I'm Still Here' last night. It was hella weird. And we were in a cinema full of those arty types who clap in the particularly 'inspired' moments, or make comments like "He's a genius" after the credits roll.




Pfft, i wasn't impressed. I mean i get that it was meant to be performance art and all, but still. The premise is this - remember like a year or two ago when he went totally whacky and grew a beard to rival that homeless dude on George St, and did that Letterman interview where he came across as a total douche bag, and said he was retiring from acting to become a hip hop artist? Turns out it was all a hoax (as was rumoured at the time), and his brother-in-law Casey Affleck was filming it all to make a mockumentary as a commentary on celebrities and their interaction with the media. Which is fine, but WTF is with all the penises in this movie, seriously? And what does that have to do with celebrities and the media? Also, do we have to see him ordering hookers and then doing the dirty with them? Or sniffing coke like a giddy teenager? Or see his friend crap on his face? Yeah. I just said that. I mean I'm no prude, but what were they trying to achieve by doing this? Cause hoax or no hoax, the dude comes across as a class A idiot. I'm all for art and challenging social norms and pushing the boundaries of film and performance, but honestly, i didn't get what the message was. The media didn't even feature that heavily, and when it did, it was mainly about all the rumours that were around at the time, about his behaviour and his look and his supposed new career. Which is to be expected. I mean you can't be a movie star without the celebrity. It might not be fair, but its true. And a lot of the time, that celebrity is what keeps them interesting to the public, and therefore employed. I reiterate - its not fair, but its true. Anyway, there were interesting moments in this film, but on the whole, i walked away wondering if it was worth it for him. Cause he hasn't done a movie since.





Jo and I have a new thing, which is, we walk everywhere. My friend Faatasi got us into this, since he's dropped a ton of weight via this method, and since the weather's been warming up and the days are getting longer, we thought - sure. It beats dieting. On Saturday we walked from our place to Surry Hills, which took an hour. You see a hell of a lot more on foot. We combed the cute side streets and had ourselves a delicious lunch in a sidewalk cafe - pulled pork and chutney sandwich anyone? Oh Lord, thank you for pork, the most delicious of all meats. Amen.

Please note the sleeveless dress.

Loves me some tree-lined streets...


...and urban art...

...and flower stalls all in the same square block.

Apart from walking all over, our weekend was spent catching up with old friends, and of course the pest, who never fails to get a laugh. Maria and I cracked open some limoncello, the authentic stuff actually FROM Italy, that's like, 80% alcohol, 20% other stuff, and understandably Jack wanted in. I didn't see the problem, (what? it's not like he's a baby. he's two. and a half.) but Maria yelled the house down so i had to wait until she had her back turned. He stuck his tongue in the glass, pulled back in alarm, eyes popping, and exclaimed "Whoa!" in sort of a stoned teenager voice, then laughed. Totally worth getting in trouble for. He didn't want anymore by the way. Thanks to me, he probably won't touch the stuff for the rest of his life. Now that's parenting.

They've definitely made sure he knows his good words from his bad words though. Peter accidentally dropped the F-bomb in front of him, and he wasted no time whipping around, pointing his little finger in his face and saying, quite crossly, "You can't say that bad word Daddy! Or you have to go in the dungeon!" The dungeon is an excellent form of punishment, by the way. It's actually the laundry, but its prime position under the house makes it perfect for threatening naughty two year olds. Gives the poor kid the shakes just thinking about it. *sniggers*

Pest-mania

Incidentally, i just watched the Britney episode of Glee, and Brittney, Glee's Brittney, is totally awesome. I have a new respect. Long weekend coming up, and daylight savings starts on Sunday. So. Pretty much all manner of awesomeness reigns. I have some book reviews to do too, but i can't bothered tonight. Next post though!

Shakespeare and birthdays

I've been on the go since Monday, but that's OK. For all my complaining about how busy i always am, i secretly kinda like it. There's always something new happening, and anyway, isn't that the best way to live life? By actually living it? Musing over, i will now recount for you highlights of the week that was.



On Tuesday, Kat and I went to see Bell Shakespeare's production of King Lear, which is one of his more intense, depressing plays, but interesting nonetheless. I've seen the play performed before, but this time we had the pleasure of seeing John Bell himself (founder of the Bell Shakespeare Company and one of Australia's greatest theatre actors) play the part of King Lear. His performance alone was worth the ticket, because he really is brilliant, and obviously passionate about Shakespeare. The language rolls off his tongue like conversation, which makes him so pleasant to listen to. A good production all round, but he was the highlight for sure.




Wednesday saw us at the Macquarie Hotel for cheap drinks (as in, two bottles of champagne for us girls) and a good, old fashioned pub meal with our friends Adrian and Fiona. And Thursday was spent in a mad rush of shopping for our Friday night BBQ with my cousins (all 8 of them, plus Mel and David, plus me and Jo - i was worried where everyone would sit, but we all fit!).




On Saturday, despite staying up till 3.30am the night before watching one Glee episode after the next, we headed over to Daniel and Romina's new house to help them out with a few things before they move in. When i say we, i of course mean Jo. He and Daniel worked the afternoon away while Romina and I sat around looking at wedding magazines and chatting about the (soon-to-be) new baby. Although i, like many, could not say the words 'Daniel' and 'physical labour' in the same sentence without laughing hysterically, my opinion was turned around very quickly that afternoon - he's been working so hard to get this house ready, and it's looking great.




Then it was straight to my parents place for another BBQ - this time in honour of my uncles 70th birthday. We had a very fun night - Jack kept us all entertained as usual. He is enamoured of Cooper, whom he loves to look at, and yell at, and every throw food at....just not actually touch. Well, he is an enormous dog, with enormous chompers. I guess i can see his point. "Do you want to pat him?" i ask. "No thanks," he replies, "I can't." This is his latest thing, 'i can't'. If he doesn't want to eat something particular, or do something particular, the reason is always because 'i can't.' Also, he is being toilet trained at the moment, except that he won't actually participate in the whole 'going to the toilet ON the toilet' thing, which is, i believe, the whole point of toilet training. It's not as if he doesn't understand the concept. "Where do you have to do a poo?" i ask him. "In the toilet!" he replies triumphantly. "And where do YOU do a poo?" Pause. "In my nappy." I call that, toilet training FAIL. Here's some pics from last night:

My uncle with his three nieces

Italian sweets...these are my FAVOURITE thing.

Jack and Zio Angelo blow the candles out (I love how Jack's muscled his way into the limelight here)


Jack with his eye on the prize - birthday cake!

Jo, Zio and I

Me and Jack

Today, Jo played squash so i took a walk and ended up and Bourke St Bakery for coffee and toast with ricotta and jam (a surprisingly delicious combination), before coming home to watch Bride Wars, which was uninspiring to say the least. Especially for a wedding movie. Then we decided to go to the beach this afternoon for a walk and a quick bite, since it was such a nice day, and who knows when the crazy whether will kick in again.

So there you have it folks. Busy busy, but we've had fun. Easter coming up next weekend, which means a 4 day weekend which we'll be spending up on the Gold Coast with David and Mel - David has decided he simply must visit some of the theme parks up there, and so away we go. Also - Leah is having her first bridesmaids fitting this week (since she's leaving soon) and I'm having my first fitting next week - which is kind of exciting!