My cousin Stephen wears sweet bandanas (and you should too).

That's right folks, its the fashion accessory made popular by Rambo himself - the bandana. And it's making a comeback. I know this because my cousin STEPHEN, who wanted to be mentioned by name in this blog, and who is very knowledgeable about these sorts of things, was sporting his very own sweet bandana at his sister's 16th birthday BBQ the other night.




I know. I too was taken aback by the appearance of this once famous fashion piece. It was a bold choice, but seeing the pride in his eyes as he pulled back his luscious locks to show it to me, i couldn't say what i really felt, which was that bandanas should stay in the 80s where they belong, unless you are a pro-wrestler. And STEPHEN is not a pro-wrestler. In fact, there was a time when we weren't sure he would ever weigh more than 40 kilos. Thank goodness for growth spurts.

Stephen and his sweet bandana. Don't worry, he is not ashamed of his fashion choice. He is just having a diva moment.

The BBQ was otherwise very interesting. I am convinced someone put something in those snags though, because by the end of the evening, certain peoples behaviour became highly questionable, and frankly disturbing. Mum, this means you. Kissing the TV when Elvis comes on is NOT OK. Did you snort something between dinner and dessert?

PROOF THAT IT HAPPENED!

And Maria Cristina Rositano - you have forced me to name and shame you. Making shapes with your hands is not cool unless you know what they mean. Below, you will see an example of said hand gestures. Are you in a gang? Why does everyone in this photo look high? (not on life mum. on drugs.) I have not seen my mother look this happy since we got foxtel.

Things took a turn for the worse when i posed with my uncle in an MC Hammer moment. But where are the MC Hammer pants? I should have asked bandana boy to provide some. Oh, i will not be offended if you ask whether my uncle is the first pregnant man in human history. The answer is no, he is just fat.

And if you thought we wouldn't take it to the next level...

BAM. We just did. Yeah, you saw it. Cause there ain't no MC Hammer without an MC Hammer sideways cap. Whose rappin y'all? Break down the beat. (Actually, i don't think my uncle had any idea what was happening. We just told him to do stupid things and he did.)

What you see here is the type of affection displayed between men only after heavy drinking. My Dad looks like he doesn't how to smile. But Sam does.

By this point of the evening, my mother is barging her way into every single photo. That's just damn rude. I'm not sure what's happening here, but i think STEPHEN is pointing out to the folks at home that they should all go and get sweet bandanas. On a disturbing note, i look pregnant in this photo, though i can heartily assure you i am not. It even looks like i am cradling my pregnant stomach. I am really weirded out right now, so we better cut to another photo.

This is much better. Now we all look normal. Actually, STEPHEN doesn't look normal, he looks like he is about to eat the camera.

Me and my lovely cousin Chantelle - Happy Birthday shout out to you!!

So. Is there a moral to this story? Yeah right. Our family laughs in the face of morals! We spit on morals! Even my 80 year old aunt got into it. Don't eat the rice, she said loudly, because it makes you constipated. Alas, that's the kind of thing you worry about when you're 80. Also, she said, don't eat too much because you will get fatter than you already are. Some of us were labelled whales. Some of us were told to lift our shirts so she could inspect the ever-growing fat on our bodies. And some of us who are big fat suck-ups (i will not name names, JO), were told they were perfect specimens, with nothing at all to worry about.

That about wraps things up. If you have read this post and are inspired to bring back the bandana, i will put you in contact with STEPHEN who can source them in all colours and sizes. There is no head to large for a bandana. But i will probably have to start calling you Billy Ray, after Billy Ray Cyrus, who was a big bandana supporter. See ya later peeps!