Cluck cluck

I'm referring, of course, to my hens night - 10 hours of madness and mayhem that proved something very important: getting older does not mean you lose the ability to dance all night long.




Hell. No.




But let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). I'm not one for blinking "Bride to Be" sashes or gaudy tiara's or penis straws - I'm a classy gal after all. So my evening was supposed to be a pleasant, sophisticated affair.




And i mean. It TOTALLY started out like that. My Hen Entourage and I met at my most favourite bar in Sydney, The Victoria Room, where I've been sipping delicious cocktails for many years. We had our own private (air conditioned, thank God) sitting room, where we drank champagne and indulged in a huge dinner, and chatted and laughed and lived, and all was right with the world. My mother was on fire - it's was an exciting night for her, being out and about in the CITY no less, in a trendy bar, drinking expensive champagne, catching a cab home....sheesh. Kid in a candy store stuff. But hey - you were NOT drunk, right Ma? *wink wink. nudge nudge* Anywho, the thing to remember is that she had a marvellous time, as did we all.




And then, the clock struck 11. Which is not an ominous number by any means. I mean its not midnight or anything. But by the time 11 rolls around, you can pretty much separate the stayers and the goers. You know who's gonna stick with you till the end, and who's gonna have to head off (bye Mum.). My core groupies and I, knew there was only one place that could satisfy a dance fever.





And that was the Retro.





Sure it's a dive, but OH the nights we've had there. It was fitting to go back for one last hurrah. (Last hurrah? Who am i kidding. Retro is for life, dude.) There's really a lot to love. For one, cheap drinks. Then, the music - 70s and 80s all night long upstairs, and awesome 90s and top 40 downstairs. Really, the choice is endless. Thirdly, what's not to like about disco balls, fluorescent lights and podiums?




So we get there, and of course its straight upstairs for some 80s magic. It was probably about midnight when we arrived, when the dancing fervor began. This fervor, my friends, did not end until 5 hours later when, weary and exhausted, we looked around and realised there was actually no one left except us. I'm pretty sure the DJ wasn't happy about it. ("I could be packing up to go home right now, but instead I'm here spinning tunes for a bunch of ungrateful GIRLS??? WHAT THE???")




Maybe it was the weather. It was the hottest night recorded in Sydney in i don't know how many years. I'm talking really steamy. The humidity was fierce. People go loopy in that kind of heat. We walked out of there at 5am and it was still 35 degrees. Or maybe it was the music. Tina Turner's Simply the Best sent my friend Lauren into spasms of joy - the girl was singing into a pretend microphone for godsake. And then of course, Thriller and Billie Jean. Dancing Queen. Run to Paradise. Summer of '69. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles). Summer Rain. That was just in the first hour people! There's just something about singing at the top of your lungs with a bunch of friends on a podium that grabs a hold of you and doesn't let you go all night, you know? Can we really be blamed? Or maybe it was just the company. My friends are awesome, as are my cousins, and frankly, that's what's gonna make your night great. We were all just having a good time together - who wants to leave that?




Whatever it was, i can safely say I had an absolute blast. I can also safely say that Tina Turner will forever remind me of that night. Kama, Lauren and I (GENUINELY the last men standing), came back to my place afterwards in a state of near-collapse, desperate for eggs (which i did make, by the way, at 5.30 in the morning, in a vodka-induced stupor. What can I say, turning the stove on seemed like an awesome idea at the time.) And those eggs were the best I've ever tasted, let me tell you. Alas, this was closely followed by one of the WORST nights sleep I've ever had. (Not your fault, Kama, even though we shared the bed. You aren't to blame. Smirnoff ice double blacks, on the other hand, certainly played a part.)





Unfortunately, i had Jo's big camera that night (which i admit, i don't know how to use properly), so i didn't get the best pictures....but here's a teeny tiny selection. I know i haven't blogged regularly in ages, I've been super duper busy - the wedding is two weeks away now, so all down to the nitty gritty details. My best friend and maid of honour Leah arrived back in the country on Thursday night (she's been living in the UK the last 12 months, but flew in especially for the wedding), so now it really feels exciting! This weekend was spent in the Hunter Valley, for Part Two of my Hens celebrations - all organised by Leah - more fun, more madness, and i promise a blog to follow on that soon...hopefully...

Maria, Lauren, Kama and the other Maria.

Romina and I (and Bean the Second, techinically.)

Me and Vicks

Sylvana, Susie, Mel and Adriana

Maria, AKA 'The Instigator", and I

My mother. What can i say, we come from the same mould.

The one with all the books

I've actually read a bunch of great books lately. I've always been a big reader, but for 2011 i decided that i wasn't going to read anything i really didn't want to. What i mean is, if i start a book and it isn't doing it for me, I'm going to abandon it instead of force myself to kick on. Which hopefully means I'll only be reading really great stuff. Which, in hindsight, makes me wonder why i didn't start doing this years ago.









Anyway. Whatevs. Onto the books!









OK. Now i know everyone always has mixed feelings about books that would be classified as 'Young Adult'. It seems that if there are vampires or werewolves involved (Twilight anyone?), then the peeps are on board. If not, young adult fiction seems to be a bit taboo (unless you actually are a young adult. And by young adult i mean teenager.) But i honestly believe there's some really great stand alone, well written young adult titles out there that adults could get a lot out of. And Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A.S King is one of them. Yes, it's a coming of age novel. But it's a really, really good one.









Vera is in love with her best friend, Charlie. The only problem is, Charlie is dead. Worse - he died under some pretty dark circumstances. Worse again - he's haunting Vera. That's right. Haunting her. Because she's the only one out there who can clear his name. That's pretty much all I'm gonna say about the plot. But this novel is smart, funny and has a lot of heart. Vera is well rounded character - she's clever and likable, but she makes mistakes. If you're open to trying out some GOOD young adult fiction (cause there's a lot of crap out there), you should give this one a go.









On the other side of the spectrum is one of the most 'adult' books I've read in a long time. Australian novel The Slap, by Christos Tsiolkas is my best book of 2011 so far. I mean. It's only February. But still. A friend of mine passed it on to me, and I've passed it on to someone else, and they've passed it on to someone else again. I think this one's going to make the rounds at my office, for sure. The premise is pretty simple - a guy at a BBQ slaps a kid that isn't his. The event unleashes serious repercussions and differing opinions - the book is actually broken up into 8 parts, each told from the point of view of a character who was there. The interesting thing about it is that all of the characters come from completely different backgrounds, so you get diverse opinions - not just about the slap itself, but about life. Characters ranged from young, old, gay, straight, single, married and came from a variety of racial backgrounds. I thought it honestly covered the good, the bad and the ugly side of life - from relationships to marriage to kids to growing old - it's all there. Its a really great read - just be prepared for lots of swearing and sex. You'll find a lot to talk about!











After that hefty read, i needed something a bit...lighter. So i picked up Bad Marie, by Marcy Dermansky, and read it in two days. Marie really is bad. Deliciously so. An ex-con who actually enjoyed the lack of responsibility required in prison, Marie is released after 6 years on the inside, and heads straight to New York City. She becomes a live-in nanny, and promptly proceeds kidnap the child in her care. For good measure, she steals the husband too. What follows is quite the romp - implausible, sure, but great fun. And despite Marie's wickedness - i really liked her! I wanted things to work out! The whole kidnapping thing...bah. The kids real mother was a bitch anyway. I was rooting for Marie all the way - betcha you will too.











And my latest read? An oddball, but one i liked. Balthazar Jones and the Tower of London Zoo by Julia Stuart is one of those subtle books that makes a quiet impact. I wasn't sure i was going to like it at first - even the writing is oddball. But once i got used to that, i found myself looking for 5 minutes during the day to read some more. Of course, its the characters in this one that really make the difference. They were the types you really come to care about. As the title suggests, the book centres around Balthazar Jones, a beefeater at the Tower of London, and his wife. They once had a son, but now they do not, and that's all I'll say about that. There are an assortment of other characters that live within the walls of the Tower of London, and each of them have a story or a secret to tell. If you don't mind character-driven reads, this is a great one.





I must tell you about my hens night (the first one that is), but I'll save that for next time. Bizarrely, I'm more interested in watching Top Gear right now, so I'll leave you all to enjoy your Tuesday evenings.

A Farm Party

For Jack's birthday this year, Maria and I put our heads together and decided we'd do a themed party. Since the pest loves animals so much, we thought a farm party would be fun for a bunch of three year olds. And apart from being a thousand degrees out that day, it turned out a treat - the little mobile farm was a great success. The kids got to learn about all the animals, and were able to feed and pet them (under supervision, of course).









The lovely ladies who ran the whole thing were very patient - unlike me. The heat was driving me up the wall, and it was a MORNING party. So i admit, i may or may not have been slightly snappy. Possibly. So sue me! Everyones sweating and there are a million kids who want to pee and eat and pet the sheep and get in the pen and out of the pen and be read stories...bah. BAH! I just wanted to eat my egg roll in peace. It was nice to see Jack so excited though. Winner!

Zara was the most fearless of them all. Patting the sheep was not enough. She wanted to ride the damn thing.

The cake itself was awesome, made by Jack's equally awesome (and very handy in the kitchen) neighbour Jenna. Look! A farm cake! I think about what Maria and I would have accomplished if we'd been set the task of making this thing. In my vision, we are staring helplessly at both a bowl of green sludge and an empty bottle of champagne. We may or may not have been responsible for both. Basically, it's lucky we have Jenna to do the baking. (She even did the animals. I am beyond impressed. They look exactly like they're supposed to look! I can't even DRAW a cow, let alone make one out of....whatever the hell that stuff is.)

That little sign on the cake says "Jack's farm - Est. 2008". I mean. The girl thought of everything. By the way, have you noticed this new smile of Jack's? The bottom teeth seem to be a main feature. What's that about kid?

I will say this - his confidence, for a three year old, is pretty amazing. I know I'm biased. But really, it is. After he blew his candles out, he got up on that chair and actually said a speech. In front of a room full of people. "Thank you for coming to my party and for my presents, and thank you to mummy and daddy for giving me a party." THAT was the speech! WTF? What three year old does that?? I mean he had a bit of prodding, fair enough, but still. Even i was proud.

So, more birthday celebrations are over for another year. Hard to believe in a couple more years he'll be in school (HA - that'll be a rude shock to his system. Structure? Rules? What??) And now, I'm off to watch Bridezillas. Don't judge till you've seen it. Everyone loves a psycho-bride.

Hi 40 degree days

Sweet Bajesus its hot. REAL hot. Don't get me wrong - i love warm weather as much as the next person, but this freaking humidity is wearing everyone down. Ahhh the curse of the Sydney-sider - we love to complain. When it's raining we wonder where summer is, but when it's too hot we hate dealing with it.

So, best to look on the bright side - and that is going to the beach after work. LOVE! We've been a few times this week, and I'm loving it. Nothing more refreshing than washing the crap of the day away in the sea. Plus, the water's been really warm. Usually the ocean can be bracing, to say the least, but this week it's had that "just peed in" warm quality that i love.

The other great thing about this weather? Sydney looks great in it. The harbour is sparkling, the ferries are steaming, people are out and about at all hours...i love it. Here's a cracking example of how this fine city can look on a sunny day:

I mean really. Why would you want to live anywhere else? (Oh yeah, cause it costs a shitbomb to live here. Still,.Bright side, bright side....) Ah well, that's love for you - no matter the cost, you never want to leave. And i do have a passion for this city.

Since it's been so steamy out, you have to cool down by sticking by the water - the beach, the harbour...anywhere you might get a breeze. Nighttime is the worst. Our apartment has aircon but honestly, it doesn't feel like its working. Until you go outside and realise the temperature's doubled. Sweaty, sticky nights lose their allure after about ten minutes, let me tell you. Ain't nothing sexy about stinking the bed out. But I digress. So we go to the beach, and we take walks around the harbour, and life is pretty good!

In other news - the wedding is now 5 weeks away. Which means, people, the HONEYMOON is 5 weeks away. WOOT! I am so looking forward to all that time off work. (And getting married. Obviously I'm looking forward to that and everything.) (NO WORK NO WORK NO WORK!!)

Downside to the wedding coming up? Everyone wants my money. Final payments are due for everything, which means we're rapidly waving bye byes to our hard-earned cash. The things we do eh?

Hope everyone has an amazing weekend - hens night tomorrow for me, and i intend to be drowning in cocktails by 9pm. Wish me luck!