To see the summer sky is poetry...

So wrote Emily Dickinson, and so say I! (I know. I may as well be shouting Hark! to the heavens while I'm at it. Whatevs.)

Anyway, my point is - Summer is soooo totally on its way peeps. We've had like 4 hot, steamy days in a row, and yeah OK, today it all took a turn for the worse, but this has surely got to be the last winter chill right? RIGHT?

PLUS, its true - there's nothing like a summer sky (hey, cheese ain't a crime.) This is how i know it's coming...

*giddy* Even when the clouds roll in before a storm, its way better. Y'all know I'm right. In other news, Jo and I went to see that Joaquin Phoenix movie 'I'm Still Here' last night. It was hella weird. And we were in a cinema full of those arty types who clap in the particularly 'inspired' moments, or make comments like "He's a genius" after the credits roll.




Pfft, i wasn't impressed. I mean i get that it was meant to be performance art and all, but still. The premise is this - remember like a year or two ago when he went totally whacky and grew a beard to rival that homeless dude on George St, and did that Letterman interview where he came across as a total douche bag, and said he was retiring from acting to become a hip hop artist? Turns out it was all a hoax (as was rumoured at the time), and his brother-in-law Casey Affleck was filming it all to make a mockumentary as a commentary on celebrities and their interaction with the media. Which is fine, but WTF is with all the penises in this movie, seriously? And what does that have to do with celebrities and the media? Also, do we have to see him ordering hookers and then doing the dirty with them? Or sniffing coke like a giddy teenager? Or see his friend crap on his face? Yeah. I just said that. I mean I'm no prude, but what were they trying to achieve by doing this? Cause hoax or no hoax, the dude comes across as a class A idiot. I'm all for art and challenging social norms and pushing the boundaries of film and performance, but honestly, i didn't get what the message was. The media didn't even feature that heavily, and when it did, it was mainly about all the rumours that were around at the time, about his behaviour and his look and his supposed new career. Which is to be expected. I mean you can't be a movie star without the celebrity. It might not be fair, but its true. And a lot of the time, that celebrity is what keeps them interesting to the public, and therefore employed. I reiterate - its not fair, but its true. Anyway, there were interesting moments in this film, but on the whole, i walked away wondering if it was worth it for him. Cause he hasn't done a movie since.





Jo and I have a new thing, which is, we walk everywhere. My friend Faatasi got us into this, since he's dropped a ton of weight via this method, and since the weather's been warming up and the days are getting longer, we thought - sure. It beats dieting. On Saturday we walked from our place to Surry Hills, which took an hour. You see a hell of a lot more on foot. We combed the cute side streets and had ourselves a delicious lunch in a sidewalk cafe - pulled pork and chutney sandwich anyone? Oh Lord, thank you for pork, the most delicious of all meats. Amen.

Please note the sleeveless dress.

Loves me some tree-lined streets...


...and urban art...

...and flower stalls all in the same square block.

Apart from walking all over, our weekend was spent catching up with old friends, and of course the pest, who never fails to get a laugh. Maria and I cracked open some limoncello, the authentic stuff actually FROM Italy, that's like, 80% alcohol, 20% other stuff, and understandably Jack wanted in. I didn't see the problem, (what? it's not like he's a baby. he's two. and a half.) but Maria yelled the house down so i had to wait until she had her back turned. He stuck his tongue in the glass, pulled back in alarm, eyes popping, and exclaimed "Whoa!" in sort of a stoned teenager voice, then laughed. Totally worth getting in trouble for. He didn't want anymore by the way. Thanks to me, he probably won't touch the stuff for the rest of his life. Now that's parenting.

They've definitely made sure he knows his good words from his bad words though. Peter accidentally dropped the F-bomb in front of him, and he wasted no time whipping around, pointing his little finger in his face and saying, quite crossly, "You can't say that bad word Daddy! Or you have to go in the dungeon!" The dungeon is an excellent form of punishment, by the way. It's actually the laundry, but its prime position under the house makes it perfect for threatening naughty two year olds. Gives the poor kid the shakes just thinking about it. *sniggers*

Pest-mania

Incidentally, i just watched the Britney episode of Glee, and Brittney, Glee's Brittney, is totally awesome. I have a new respect. Long weekend coming up, and daylight savings starts on Sunday. So. Pretty much all manner of awesomeness reigns. I have some book reviews to do too, but i can't bothered tonight. Next post though!

The kids are alright

I'm gonna come right out and say that kids love me. They do, and i can't help it. In fact there are times i wish they DIDN'T love me so much, so i could go hang with the adults. There's only so much Wiggle-time one can handle, after all. Or so many times that i can read The Very Hungry Caterpillar before i want to rip the pages out and burn them. And honestly, i can't remember all the names of the engines in Thomas the Tank. It feels like they've multiplied since i was 5. Here's another little insight - running around screaming like a crazy person? It's not as fun as it looks when they do it. Neither is pretending to kill monsters. Or pretending to be asleep. Or pretending the couch is a boat. Or pretending to eat pretend food on pretend plates with pretend cutlery. On this front, i have a deep and profound respect for parents, who, unlike me, cannot escape this madness for the pub. Ever.




Of course, being that i can indeed wave bye byes at the end of the day, for the most part i don't mind at all - actually I'm pretty damn lucky to have so many crazy-hilarious kids in my life. There's really nothing like a cuddle from a little person. And some of them, i literally couldn't imagine living without. Now that's love y'all.




One of the newest additions to our family, Luca, has until now mainly puked, cried or slept whenever I'm around. (The puking he particularly excelled in.) Anyway I'm pleased to announce we've now moved into the next stage of development - i call it the 'i want everything around me in my mouth' stage. Fingers. Toys. Rubbery chewy things. Whatever you have handy. Actually the rubbery chewy things remind me a lot of what I'd give the dogs to play with. No comparison of course. I'm just saying. Here's the little man at brunch last week:

Bib at the ready. Child is trained to understand bib means food, and generally accepts wearing one for this reason.



Getting into one of those rubbery chewy things. The dogs look just as satisfied when they have one.

Jo and Luca and their chew-toys

Awww happy baby. It'll take him approximately 2.5 seconds to realise he has nothing in his mouth, at which point screams or tears will be produced, and 4 otherwise normal adults will scramble around like idiots to find chew-toy again. FYI the dogs are not indulged in this manner. It doesn't matter how hard they cry, they can go find their own damn toy.

Jo and Luca again. He is looking directly at me because i have his chew-toy. His expression says "I know you have it, and I'm gonna do this photo thing for now cause i like you on the whole, but if you don't give it back soon i WILL screech at high pitch for several consecutive minutes and you know how that embarrasses you when we're around strangers. So watch it, bitch."

Seriously. That's what it says.

Me and the puker. Notice he is trying to launch himself out of my arms and onto the table, where chewable stuff lies in abundance.

Look at the love in his eyes! He adores me! (Joking, it's another ploy. See how he has my hair in his grip? That's sign-language for "I'm all smiles now, but if you don't produce the chew-toy real soon I'll rip this shiz out so fast you won't have time to scream. And you've got some greys coming through lady.")

Meanwhile, I'm convinced the pest is accident-prone. For reals. There's not wall in the house he hasn't run into. So. I mean he could be blind. That's the only other explanation. But he sees OK when you've got chocolate in your hand, so that's probably not it. The other day they came over, and this is what i see when he walks in the door:

Seriously. It looks like a cranium deformity. I was actually worried it would never go away, and he'd be ugly like that forever. (Just kidding. Not even a lump the size of a golf ball could take away the cuteness.) Apparently he fell of a chair again. Hell i didn't care what happened, as long i got a picture of it. That sort of hideousness doesn't come around very often. I had to capture it for the sake of his future girlfriends. They shouldn't have to miss out on any opportunity to laugh their pants off at his expense.

In case you aren't getting the full effect front on, here it is again from the side:

That's all for today. No wait, one more thing - GLEE IS BACK SUCKERS! Enjoy season 2.

A dogs life

In the grand scheme of the universe, humans get a raw deal. All work and no play? Hell's no. On the other hand, a typical day in the life of my parent's dogs goes something like this:

1. Ignore attempts to be disciplined

2. Express disgust at that other, smaller dogs rank breath.





3. Maul owner

4. Scratch. Scratch aaaaaaall day long.

5. Run down any and all unknown visitors to the yard

6. Hump fellow canines. Ignore disciplinary action (refer point 1.)

7. Sniff that other, smaller dogs butt when he's not looking

8. Sit when treat is presented. Human will like this. Repeat mantra 'I am a good dog. I am a good dog.' to help refrain from launching attack on said treat.

9. Drool at thought of food. Drool especially cannot be contained when treat is waved in your face. Repeat mantra 'I am a good dog. I am a good dog.' to help refrain from launching attack on said treat.

10. Human may control food output, but behaving like angel will guarantee biscuit. Ergo, behave like angel when human enters yard and biscuit is sure bet.

The cuteness that was.

This post is aaaaall about the cuteness. So if y'all get bored of seeing pictures of cute dogs and cute kids, time to bow out now, cause my weekend was full of 'em.

Now as you know, until not very long ago we had flatmates, David and Mel. They've bought their own place now, and even more recently, their little family went from two the three. And if you know David at all, you know I'm not talking about a kid. I was dying to meet the new addition, so on Friday night we headed over. Thus, allow me to introduce....*begin drum roll*...the completely squee-worthy...*drum roll continues*...Barney!!!! (*end drum roll*)

Please join me in a coo.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Barney is only a couple of months old, but he already has his owners wrapped around his little finger. Of course he doesn't have fingers, but if he did. You know.

His hobbies include playing with his toys...

...hanging out on people's laps...

...and chillin' with his folks...










Obviously, I'm in love. And incidentally, so is David. Which cracks me up, cause he was never was one to understand the bond between human and pet. For all the grief he gave me about how much i loved my dogs growing up, it really is satisfying and smirk-worthy to watch. For example, he refers to Barney as "the baby." "The baby" has been known to sleep in the bed with him. He talks to the "the baby" like it really is "a baby" - for example "Come to Daddy!" or "Give Daddy a kiss!" He is even enrolling "the baby" into daycare, because he can't bear the thought of him being home alone during the day when they're at work. He's investigating local schools for "the baby" to attend when he's old enough, and was horrified when Mel accidentally stood on "the baby's" tail - she was forced to apologise multiple times to "the baby" thereafter. Jo and I spent most of the night looking on with a kind of sick fascination at this display (when i wasn't openly pointing and laughing, obviously).

Barney remained oblivious to our ridicule

And by the the end of the night, he was tuckered out. That there's his teddy bear that he likes to sleep with. I'm not sure the bear feels the same way. He gets pissed on a lot.

I spent most of the next day with Maria and Jack. We had a dress fitting in the morning, and then i went ahead and got my nails painted this colour, just for the hell of it. Cause I'm wacky like that.

We had a look around for shoes and jewellery for the wedding while we were at it, before we dropped the kid off and headed to lunch and a massage in Crows Nest, just because. It was, in fact, my first massage. I rather enjoyed it, apart from the whole being naked with just a tiny towel over your butt thing. Still, who knew your kneecaps could feel so good?

And then, to cap off a fab day, i hung out with THIS pest, the cutest of all pests, who's just gotten a guitar that's about as big as him. Now tell me. Has there ever been a more handsome musician in all the world? I. Think. Not.

And he comes up with some crackers. When we came back from our massage, Maria, with arms wide open, asked "Did you miss us!!??" He considered the question, and then replied, quite frankly, "No. Me no miss you guys."





OK. Thanks a bunch, kid.

On Sunday, i donned my posh the-ay-tre outfit...

...and went with some friends to see this...

...which was FREAKEN AWESOME. If you don't know, it's the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. The great thing is you'll know all the songs - even if you think you won't, trust me, you will. I loved it - it was funny and the singing was awesome. Go see it!!

Afterwards, i met up with Jo and we went down to the harbour to see the giant rugby ball. Yes, i did say giant rugby ball. The kiwi's, pesky folk that they are, have hauled one giant-ass ball all around the world to advertise next year's world cup, and it's finally landed here. Actually, i call that pretty clever marketing. You actually go inside the ball, and there's this whole presentation about New Zealand, and its history and legends and all the great stuff you can do there, culminating, of course, in the suggestion that we all head on over to check it out for ourselves.

Jo and I in one of those photos that went wrong.

Jo and The Ball.

So that was the weekend, and now we're approaching another and i just don't know where the time went. We've been making our way through the seventh season of Entourage (started slow but picking up nicely now) and the first season of Curb Your Enthusiasm (I know, we're a bit late), so I'm off to watch TV. (What? I love TV. Don't judge.)

Top of the Pops

Sunday was Fathers Day, and since my Dad's birthday was a mere few days before, this meant only one thing - double the cash spent in half the time.
Just kidding. I love celebrating all that love at once. Honest. Here some fun facts about Dad:
1) 90% of what he eats he's made himself. Wine, olives, tomato sauce for his pasta, salami and other cured meats, all manner of vegetables and herbs from his garden...he's very self sufficient. And he's very generous with his produce. We can't walk out of the house without a bag of broccoli or fresh eggs or fruit in tow.
2) He knows how to throw a good party. At Christmas, he'll ask Jo how many cases of beer he thinks we'll need for our annual bash. Jo is usually generous in his estimation - "I reckon 3, just to be on the safe side." My Dad will usually pause and consider this, before replying "No. I think 5. We get 5."
So. You can bet that party's always a cracker.
3) Dad is a staunch Bulldogs supporter. They are his favourite football team. So strong is his love and support for the the Dogs that any time they look like they're going to lose a game, he'll hurl abuse at the television and promptly go to bed.
4) Although he is the biggest Italian of them all, he will not eat a pizza with cheese. That's right. No cheese. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF ANYTHING SO RIDICULOUS??????? His pizza consists of tomato sauce, oregano, olives and anchovies. I have never in my life seen him eat a pizza with anything other than the above 4 ingredients, ever.
Lastly - and this fact is really interesting:
5) My Dad is never wrong. He's right all the time. It's amazing! I know, you're shocked. But it's true, he'll tell you himself. In all of his 64 years, he's never once been wrong about anything.
It really is extraordinary.

On Father's Day we had some old friend's over for lunch to celebrate. A great day had by all! For some reasons picture were lacking - even though this post is about Dad, here's some pics of me, Jo and the dogs!

Jo and I

Reggie and Cooper.

Reggie. Look at those sad eyes! He always looks so anxious.

Blowing out another candle

This week has been simultaneously awful and fun at the same time. Work has been...well it's been. There's no more to say about that. I'd risk a mental breakdown.



But there's been lots of other fun things going on, like the old man's birthday on Tuesday. To preserve his privacy, i will omit his age from this post. (Aw what the hell, he's 64.) But he doesn't look a day over 55 if you ask me. We headed over to sing a rousing Happy Birthday to You complete with TWO birthday cakes, one chocolate and one lemon, cause mum must have been hella bored that day.

Dad and his cakes

This whole picture screams drunk and disorderly. Not that they were.

(*sniggers* they so were)

On Wednesday night, Maria and I went to see a wedding decorator to help with flowers and other bits and pieces for our venue on the day. Stuff i basically can't be bothered doing myself. The real kicker though, was this exchange:

Maria: "So, I've been thinking about our wedding."
Me: "Who's wedding???"

My worst fears have been confirmed. She's officially taken over. (Just kidding. She's a huge help. Even if she is calling it "her new project" with a disturbing amount of enthusiasm.)

Thursday saw me at a work dinner, at Spice I Am in Darlinghurst - which many agree is the best Thai in town. It's great, but if you aren't into spicy food, avoid the duck at all cost. Spicy was an understatement - I felt like my lips were swollen for the rest of the evening. It was a like a bee had stung me. Luckily i was plied up with New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, so by 10.30 i was laughing hysterically at pretty much anything anyone said to me. Still, i wasn't as bad as a certain someone who shall remain nameless (*coughs*Adam*coughs*). To the delight (and by delight i mean disgust) of other diners, he started doing push-ups in the middle of the restaurant. Obviously I won't be letting him live that one down anytime soon.

To round off the week, we went to the movies last night. Which would have been great except that Jo picked The Expendables, which really was the biggest pile of crap I've seen in a long time. Next time a bunch of old dudes want to live out one last action-hero fantasy from the glory days, the studio should just say no. Firstly, WHAT is with Sylvester Stallone's face? He looks like an aging French pastry chef from a Disney cartoon. Secondly, did he write the movie as well as direct it? Cause that screenplay was something else. I cringed for the entire 2 hours. At one point i actually couldn't restrain my laughter. Picture this: our hero, Sly, has just fought off about 50 bad guys to rescue the girl. She's on the verge of being raped by some other bad guys, so naturally she's petrified, and Sly's pretty pissed about the whole situation. So he kills them too. Here are the lines:

Her (spoken in awe-struck whisper): "How are you here?"

Him (oozing masculinity): "I just am."

He'll win some awards for this one. For sure.