Irony

Highlights of the week

Ahhh the week that was. And what a week! I've been M.I.A for a while because there's been so much happening, and work is so busy, and i haven't been sleeping properly...but here we are and I'm pleased to report that I've finally settled on a bridesmaids dress colour. Hurrah. One that i think will suit all the girls nicely. AND, I've found an invitation place that i like too, who will custom design the invites to suit our wedding, at a very reasonable cost. So that was exciting too, because all the invitations I've seen so far are just...not for me. Too much lace and ribbon and feathers (oh my). But this place seems to have very simple and colourful designs which are much more to my taste.



OK, onto the rest. On Tuesday, Faats and I did this...............



*drumroll*




.................ate a McDonald's Family Feast box. Like, just the two of us. Because we could. BAM. Yeah, you read that. It didn't trouble us that the box is intended to feed four people and then some. In fact, Faatasi rose to the challenge admirably. I was lucky i got to taste one burger, let alone my fries. (Just kidding.) (No I'm not.)




Anyway, we figured it was OK, because its not like we do this every day or anything. And we've never been into these fancy establishments. Our motto is - you make the fresh-off-the-grill cheesy McCheeseburger, and we'll eat it. It's that simple.

Ta Da!

McDonald's - a heart attack in every box.

And if you thought McDonald's was the only good thing to happen to me this week, think again. Because on Thursday, we welcomed baby Luca into the world! After what felt like forever in waiting, my cousins Daniel and Romina finally got to meet their son, and lo, yet another new cousin was born unto me. He is healthy and happy (and hungry) and pretty darn cute if you ask me. Rom's doing well too, and doesn't look at all troubled by the fact that she is now responsible for another human life. So. That's good.

Baby Luca

"Duuuuuude. Get outta my face man, I'm trying to crash."

We couldn't wait to meet him, obvs, so we got ourselves over to the hospital on Saturday to say hi to the kid. (I don't think he cared. "Do you have milk? No? Then move along sister.")

That night, there was another kid to contend with - The Pest. The name Jack is a thing of the past, my friends. "Are you the naughtiest boy in the World, or just the Southern Hemisphere?" I barked in frustration, to no avail. What can i say, the kid wants what he wants. And come hell or high water, he will find a way to get it. We tried a new place out on Saturday night, an Italian wine bar in Surry Hills called La Tana. The owners are Venetian, and I thought the food was delicious. They also specialise in spritzes! What's a spritz, you say? It’s a refreshing mix of Aperol or Campari with white wine and a splash of soda. Light and refreshing! We had soft shell crab, salt cod, prawns wrapped in prosciutto, salt and pepper squid, pork and polenta...the food just kept coming. A good night, apart from The Pest and his pesky ways. (Who am i kidding. I love that kid.)

Don't let this innocent face fool you. Underneath the cute demeanor lies a stubborn and insubordinate child. Yes. I am using the word insubordinate. For a two year old.

That smile is a front. He's only like that maybe 2% of the time. I swear.

After dinner, Jo and I decided we weren't quite ready to call it a night, so we gave the Argiro a call to see if he wanted to redeem his poor bowling performance on the Gold Coast with a rematch. It took him about two seconds to decide HELL YES, so we met at the local bowling alley for a game (What? We have a local bowling alley. So what's you point?) After a slow start, he came back for a victory, finally, and thank goodness. I'm not sure how long Jo will let him hold the title though. I have a feeling we'll be back there soon enough.

And Sunday? Mum and I rounded off the week by going to see....

...Wicked! God i love that show. Jo and I saw it in L.A a couple of years ago, and we both thought it was fantastic. I wanted mum to see it too, so when it finally came to Sydney i nabbed a couple of tickets and away we went. She loved it too, obvs. If you're only going to see ONE SHOW this year - THIS has to be it. If you haven't heard about it, you've been living under a rock. It's one of the most popular musicals in recent years, not just because of the great songs and sets and costumes, but also because of the all-important question it asks: how DID the Wicked Witch of the West become Wicked? It's genius.

Actually, its based on a book by the same name, and has been adapted for the stage. The tagline for the musical is "SO much happened before Dorothy dropped in." Which gives you an idea of what it's all about - you meet the characters from the Wizard of Oz, and learn their history and how they got to be who they are - before the whole "I'll get you my pretty, and you're little dog too" thing. Anyway. I'll stop raving. It's fantastic. Go see it. Take the kids. You'll be humming Defying Gravity all the way home.

Mum, outside the theatre




Me, sipping on my Ozmopolitan during intermission.

OK. That was one hell of a post. Now I'm going to bed.

"I have just one little egg. OK?"

Those were Jack's words to us at the dinner table on Sunday night. His plate was piled with corn and meat and mushrooms, but no. The kid had his sights set higher.



Because this year, he's old enough to appreciate the real meaning of Easter - to hoard chocolate eggs, and guzzle them in private. Which is exactly what he's been doing all week.

This weekend was pretty lazy. I finally enjoyed a few movies I've had on the back burner - like (500) Days of Summer, which i LOVED! All of the kookiness really appealed to me, and i loved that it looked at relationships from a more honest perspective that a lot of movies do. Great soundtrack too!

And then there was the big goodbye - we farewelled Leah and Chris, who left for their huge UK adventure on Friday. They are settling in London for the next year - and even though i feel TOTALLY abandoned by my MAID OF HONOUR in my TIME OF NEED....i will forgive her (this time) and wish her well. I've already had an email update that's made me super jealous - alas, I'm pretty sure there'll be more of those to come.

YAWN! Going to bed. (Abrupt endings. Are awesome.)

Thrills and spills

This is going to be the mother of all posts, but we jammed so much into our Easter long weekend...what's a girl to do? I'm going to save the pics till last. Y'all probably know by now that Jo and I went to the Gold Coast with Dave and Mel...so here we go.







We left bright and early on Friday morning, and arrived just in time for brunch. Since there was a little rain overhead, we started our holiday in what only seemed the proper way - via a bowling tournament. I'm going to say from the start that I, most un-co of all people, beat David. Yep. You just read that. And even though he blamed everything from the disco lights to the fan in his face, the truth is simply this - I played better than him.









In the end, Jo won the match, but Mel was the real surprise - her methods may be strange (I don't know - does dropping the ball in front of your feet and watching it spin slowly down the alley at less than 9kph count as actual bowling?), but they paid off, cause she came in second. A rematch was quickly demanded by David - but we saved that for another day. The afternoon was warm and sunny, so we spend it by the pool, before David and Mel headed off to a friend's party, leaving Jo and I to our own devices - after a quiet dinner at a little Italian joint (what else?), we went to play mini-golf.









On Saturday we headed to Dreamworld. They've opened a water park there, so we thought we'd kill two birds with one stone - thrill rides and water slides. But David's day started going downhill before we'd even made it to the bus. Folks - the humble mushroom. As far as varieties go, he's very clear about what he likes (button mushrooms) and what he doesn't like (everything else.) He is particularly offended by the field mushroom - too big and too slimy. And though he ordered his usual eggs and mushrooms that fateful morning, he forgot to ask what type of mushroom they served. Alas, when the plate came laden with field mushrooms, he believed he had been cheated. Well, who wouldn't? He dumped them unceremoniously on Mel's plate and huffed his way through the rest of his breakfast.







His day didn't improve when we actually got to the park. Dreamworld has two particularly scary rides - the Giant Drop and the Tower of Terror. We tackled the Giant Drop first. It's 39 stories high - you sit in your chair and are lifted slowly to the top, then dropped back down to the bottom again without warning. "My name is David Argiro", he said as we rose higher and higher, "and i am not happy. Let the record state that i wanted to go to the WATER PAAAAAAAAAAAARK!" Those were his last words - then we plummeted.








And the Tower of Terror? Its the 4th fastest rollercoaster in the world, reaching 160 kph in 3 seconds. It shoots up 39 stories and then falls back down again. When it takes off, it sounds like a rocket ship. Therefore, David was not amused when we told him that's where we were headed next. Actually, he flatly refused to get on - but we bullied him into it. "Why. Why?" is all he could say as the queue moved steadily onwards until we were almost at the front. I actually thought he was going to be sick at one point. But once we took off, his terror turned to exhilaration, and by the time we were back down again he was punching the air in excitement, nearly taking off Mel's head in the process. We figured we'd better let him relax a bit after all that, so we spent the rest of the afternoon in the water park (by the way, the slides there are awesome - we had a great time! I felt like a kid again.) Oh, dinner that night was Italian. So what's your point?









On Easter Sunday, we had a lovely brunch down at the surf club, which overlooks the ocean. It was a sunny morning, but by the time we made our way back, it has started to rain. Perfect time for a bowling re-match. Unfortunately, Jo won again, and David didn't get the glory he'd hoped for. Later that afternoon, when the sun had come out again, we hired some jet ski's and went out on the river for a spin. Jo felt it necessary to throttle the thing to 95kph, while I sat on the back and clung to him in terror - especially since the woman who owned the rental place helpfully informed us that late afternoon is when the bull sharks came out. And I quote: "I wouldn't want to have to swim across the river at this time!" Gee thanks lady. P.S - guess what we had for dinner...









On our last day, we hired a car and drove to Byron Bay. Well, Mel drove. I sat in the backseat and read Vogue. "Why do you read that crap Nelsie?", David asked in disgust. "At least I read NW." NW as in, New Weekly, that quality publication that offers articles of substance with headlines such as 'Stars Without Make-up! See What they Really Look Like!' or 'Celebrity Cellulite! Who's Fighting Fat?' or 'Inside Boytox! Now the Boys Are at it Too!' But hey. I'm not judging. Byron Bay is known for having a bit of a hippie culture, proven over brunch when we overheard Mel have a conversation with a waitress that involved the words 'dandelion', 'soy' and 'cows milk' (she's into natural stuff.)





All we had to decide was what to do with our day. Shop? Swim? Visit a day spa? No siree. Not us. Nope, we went ahead and took a trapeze lesson. What's that you say? We're crazy, you say? Yeah, pretty much. As David said - "Trapeze school. It's one for the ages." Followed by the astute observation that "Byron girls aren't up to Gold Coast standard, are they?"









On the topic of trapezing, I can honestly say that i have never been so terrified in my whole life. And i have done some scary stuff. I've stood three feet from a real rhinoceros in the middle of a jungle, for godsake. But seriously? This make me poo my pants. (What? I mean metaphorically.) I was literally sweating in fear, which is really not what you want happening when you have to grip a bar and hang on for dear life as you're pushed over the edge of a ten metre high platform. And I'm not exaggerating. I never exaggerate.









David gave up after two attempts. When told he'd regret it if he didn't give it another ago, he swiftly assured us not to worry - "I'll sleep tonight." And that was that. I don't blame him really. It took the poor guy twenty minutes just to climb the ladder to the top. (Admittedly, i was doubled over in laughter - i mean no offence, but it really was freaken hilarious to watch him crawl up at snails pace, holding on like grim death, face down, eyes closed, breathing ragged...oh wait, maybe that was me.) Mel tried to convince him one last time to give it another try - "Come ooooonnnnn! Everyone else is doing it!" To which he responded, "Everyone else doesn't have a Porsche, Darling. They don't understand." Elitist, and sadly true.









Once you got used to it, it was actually immensely satisfying to get it right. I was pretty damn proud of myself - we hooked our knees over the top of the bar and hung down backwards, did back flips, and let another dude catch us off a swing all in the space of an hour or two. (Yes, alright, there were five year olds doing the same thing. But. They haven't developed any sense yet.) (Also, we were in a harness the whole time, and there was a net underneath ready to catch us if we fell. But it still felt totally death-defying.)




I began to have visions of myself in a red, sequined number, performing tricks for an adoring crowd under the big top. But rope burn brought me back to reality, along with my inability to actually jump into the air myself - the lady at the top had to push me off the platform every time, despite my protests to "wait! just wai-..."









We rewarded our bravery with a swim in the ocean before a late lunch and cocktails at the pub. And a nutella doughnut, but i earned that one. Right? Then it was off to the airport, and home again, after what felt like a whirlwind (but really fun) trip.









Pictures...

Beach!!


Brunch at the surf club

David and Mel

Jo, bowling champion of the weekend, with his prize - brand new socks.

David in the pool

Hanging out, poolside

Across the river, by night

Gold Coast, by night

Mel and I on one of the rides at dreamworld

Byron Bay

David, me and Mel

Surfing girl in Byron

Afternoon cocktails

About to do some trapezing...

Just one of my many tricks

Jo, hanging out (get it? get it?)

I'm looking alot like Tarzan here

David, about to poo his pants before he swings away...

Jo again

Mel in her double act with the professional trapeze dude

Thoughts on the humble Easter Egg

It's my opinion that Easter egg chocolate is different to all other chocolate. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's just me. But there's something about it that just TASTES better. Therefore, this time of year usually results in a gorge-fest of easter eggs. Problematic, i assure you, for my already troubled waistline. Nonetheless, i can't resist their pull. The shiny wrapper definitely helps. They look so pretty - all the bunnies lined up in their little foil coats and jackets and dresses, the bundles of baby eggs, so sweetly wrapped in all the colours of the rainbow, and that's just your garden variety. These days they've got all sorts of fandangled new shapes and characters and flavours - like the recent introduction of the Easter Bilby. Now look, i respect Australian wildlife as much as the next person, but lets just stick with tradition on this one huh? Easter is for rabbits. Not Bilbys. Do we have to Aussie-fy everything?




Anyway, I consider myself somewhat of an egg connoisseur, and after much research (hey, someones gotta do it), the humble Red Tulip Milk Chocolate Easter Egg still kicks total egg-butt. You can't go past a classic and I still buy them every year. When I'm not eating them, I'm craving them. When Easter's over, i pine for them. When they're selling post-Easter stock in supermarkets for 3 bucks a pack, I'm the crazy lady pushing kids out of the way to get to them. In short - our bond has lasted a lifetime. Go get yourself a packet right now (or better yet, get two packets and send one to me.)




We're off to the Gold Coast for our break this year, so we'll be back in 4 days. I hope you all have a safe and happy Easter, and remember - you're never too old to hunt for an egg.