A dogs life

In the grand scheme of the universe, humans get a raw deal. All work and no play? Hell's no. On the other hand, a typical day in the life of my parent's dogs goes something like this:

1. Ignore attempts to be disciplined

2. Express disgust at that other, smaller dogs rank breath.





3. Maul owner

4. Scratch. Scratch aaaaaaall day long.

5. Run down any and all unknown visitors to the yard

6. Hump fellow canines. Ignore disciplinary action (refer point 1.)

7. Sniff that other, smaller dogs butt when he's not looking

8. Sit when treat is presented. Human will like this. Repeat mantra 'I am a good dog. I am a good dog.' to help refrain from launching attack on said treat.

9. Drool at thought of food. Drool especially cannot be contained when treat is waved in your face. Repeat mantra 'I am a good dog. I am a good dog.' to help refrain from launching attack on said treat.

10. Human may control food output, but behaving like angel will guarantee biscuit. Ergo, behave like angel when human enters yard and biscuit is sure bet.