Hell. No.
But let's start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). I'm not one for blinking "Bride to Be" sashes or gaudy tiara's or penis straws - I'm a classy gal after all. So my evening was supposed to be a pleasant, sophisticated affair.
And i mean. It TOTALLY started out like that. My Hen Entourage and I met at my most favourite bar in Sydney, The Victoria Room, where I've been sipping delicious cocktails for many years. We had our own private (air conditioned, thank God) sitting room, where we drank champagne and indulged in a huge dinner, and chatted and laughed and lived, and all was right with the world. My mother was on fire - it's was an exciting night for her, being out and about in the CITY no less, in a trendy bar, drinking expensive champagne, catching a cab home....sheesh. Kid in a candy store stuff. But hey - you were NOT drunk, right Ma? *wink wink. nudge nudge* Anywho, the thing to remember is that she had a marvellous time, as did we all.
And then, the clock struck 11. Which is not an ominous number by any means. I mean its not midnight or anything. But by the time 11 rolls around, you can pretty much separate the stayers and the goers. You know who's gonna stick with you till the end, and who's gonna have to head off (bye Mum.). My core groupies and I, knew there was only one place that could satisfy a dance fever.
And that was the Retro.
Sure it's a dive, but OH the nights we've had there. It was fitting to go back for one last hurrah. (Last hurrah? Who am i kidding. Retro is for life, dude.) There's really a lot to love. For one, cheap drinks. Then, the music - 70s and 80s all night long upstairs, and awesome 90s and top 40 downstairs. Really, the choice is endless. Thirdly, what's not to like about disco balls, fluorescent lights and podiums?
So we get there, and of course its straight upstairs for some 80s magic. It was probably about midnight when we arrived, when the dancing fervor began. This fervor, my friends, did not end until 5 hours later when, weary and exhausted, we looked around and realised there was actually no one left except us. I'm pretty sure the DJ wasn't happy about it. ("I could be packing up to go home right now, but instead I'm here spinning tunes for a bunch of ungrateful GIRLS??? WHAT THE???")
Maybe it was the weather. It was the hottest night recorded in Sydney in i don't know how many years. I'm talking really steamy. The humidity was fierce. People go loopy in that kind of heat. We walked out of there at 5am and it was still 35 degrees. Or maybe it was the music. Tina Turner's Simply the Best sent my friend Lauren into spasms of joy - the girl was singing into a pretend microphone for godsake. And then of course, Thriller and Billie Jean. Dancing Queen. Run to Paradise. Summer of '69. I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles). Summer Rain. That was just in the first hour people! There's just something about singing at the top of your lungs with a bunch of friends on a podium that grabs a hold of you and doesn't let you go all night, you know? Can we really be blamed? Or maybe it was just the company. My friends are awesome, as are my cousins, and frankly, that's what's gonna make your night great. We were all just having a good time together - who wants to leave that?
Whatever it was, i can safely say I had an absolute blast. I can also safely say that Tina Turner will forever remind me of that night. Kama, Lauren and I (GENUINELY the last men standing), came back to my place afterwards in a state of near-collapse, desperate for eggs (which i did make, by the way, at 5.30 in the morning, in a vodka-induced stupor. What can I say, turning the stove on seemed like an awesome idea at the time.) And those eggs were the best I've ever tasted, let me tell you. Alas, this was closely followed by one of the WORST nights sleep I've ever had. (Not your fault, Kama, even though we shared the bed. You aren't to blame. Smirnoff ice double blacks, on the other hand, certainly played a part.)
Unfortunately, i had Jo's big camera that night (which i admit, i don't know how to use properly), so i didn't get the best pictures....but here's a teeny tiny selection. I know i haven't blogged regularly in ages, I've been super duper busy - the wedding is two weeks away now, so all down to the nitty gritty details. My best friend and maid of honour Leah arrived back in the country on Thursday night (she's been living in the UK the last 12 months, but flew in especially for the wedding), so now it really feels exciting! This weekend was spent in the Hunter Valley, for Part Two of my Hens celebrations - all organised by Leah - more fun, more madness, and i promise a blog to follow on that soon...hopefully...
Maria, Lauren, Kama and the other Maria.
Romina and I (and Bean the Second, techinically.)
Me and Vicks
Sylvana, Susie, Mel and Adriana
Maria, AKA 'The Instigator", and I
My mother. What can i say, we come from the same mould.
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