From bandana to beanie (and the 80th birthday party that rocked)

My aunt turned 80 last week. Quite an achievement, considering she's a chronic smoker with a bad attitude. And isn't that what we love about her? She encourages me to eat with my mouth open. She teaches me not to feel ashamed about showing strangers the scar from a gallstone operation i had 5 years ago. But most importantly, she inspires me to insult those around me on a daily basis, and use bad language when i do it.




Here's the old duck in fine form after 80 weary years on this planet.






Jokes aside - this lady doesn't love much, but she loves me. Some of my earliest memories are formed around her, and she's made life very entertaining. And, she's got pluck - you can't take that away from her. When i was 3 or 4, I climbed a ladder in the backyard and sat up on the roof of a two storey house for i don't know how long - she was the only one with the balls to come up and get me. There's been more than one bully to cop a mouthful from her. She doesn't take shit (but she's perfected the art of giving it.)




And so, in honor of her 80th year, we went all out and celebrated in style - at the local RSL. What can i say, she loves the buffet. My Dad, on the other hand, does not. He doesn't trust any food he hasn't cooked either himself, or by a fellow Italian. I think he had three plates of hot chips. What a battler.

My old man

Sam, Dad, John and Sophie

Sophie, mum and Mary

There were several pigs amongst us. I won't name names. I do, however, reserve the right to publish any photos taken by me, whether the subject of said photo is stuffing their face or not.

And here's the old gal blowing out her candles. Can't wait to take a bite of that.






Yep. We really rocked it out. (Note the stamp on my hand. Are RSL clubs trying to be trendy now by stamping you to come in and out? This is not a Kings Cross nightclub people.)








But enough of the birthday celebrations. I know what you've really been waiting for. Some months ago, i introduced you to my cousin Stephen and his questionable choices in the fashion arena. Saturday saw him sporting a beanie - the ultimate cold-weather accessory. Now I'm not one for wearing my beanies indoors, but that's OK. No judging on this blog. Besides, if i had hair like that, I'd be covering it up too.




Now, here he is in full-frontal glory. As the night wore on, and our jokes about him having Ellen Degeneres hair grew tiresome, he stopped cooperating.






See that fringe thing right there? What is that??!! No wonder i had to chase him around with a camera all night. For that special flair, he's chosen to sport a streak of brown in the front portion, while the rest of his locks remain blonde and tussled, like a lions mane. Unfortunately for my readers, our relentless mocking resulted in his refusal to shed the beanie for the remainder of the evening, so you won't be able to get the full effect. Some would call that selfish, Stevie. But not me. No judging on this blog.

I question the necessity of using the finger here. It's a little rude.




It's remarkably difficult to get the beanie positioned in such a way that the head remains fully covered EXCEPT FOR the fringe particle. There are two key elements - as you can see from the above demonstration, you must first remember to place the beanie over, and not behind, the ears, to ensure full mobility when arranging the front area just so.

Secondly, you don't want to pull the front over your forehead, but place it back from the crown, combing the fringe out and to the right, as pictured.

By the end of the evening, ridiculous measures were taken to avoid being in a picture. (Stevie, is this your hankie? Are your initials sewed into the corner?)...

... and in the end, i was simply given the hand, which, given my obsession with getting a shot of that bitchin' style cut, i took to mean: "Piss off, you psycho stalker".

Luckily, we remained friends in the end, and i was allowed to get a few proper frames (because after all, its the bad choices that should remain ingrained in time. Your children's children will enjoy it.)

Cuz's to the max

Ps: Stephen - Michael tells me that you spend an abnormal amount of time lying on your bed, surfing the net in your underwear. Please confirm.