I blame our friend Ash. If it wasn't his birthday (how dare he have the audacity to be born), we would never have been out in the first place.
Since he was turning the grand young age of 30, we knew it had to be a good one - so after a few beers at our local after work, we headed to El Loco in Surry Hills for some Authentico Mexicano. We were relieved to see that margaritas and tequila shots were also on the menu, and this, combined with $5 tacos and the best damn fish sandwich on the Eastern seaboard, kept us in high spirits for some time. (Seriously, try this place out some time. Great food, great vibe!)
The only one who was a big fat downer was Turnsie, which is no surprise. Apparently the place was too "crowded" for him, and he wanted to "go home." SHAME ON YOU TURNSIE! BOO!! I want everyone to note, as we work out way through this little adventure, Turnsie's face in the photos. He looks completely plastered in every. single. one.
I mean. At least Lauren and I make a slow progression into indecency. Turnsie skips all that and hits 'embarrassing' within his first few drinks. Happily, the camera was ready to capture it all (BWAHAHAHAHAHA Turns!)
But things start off OK. We start with gentle drinks - designer beer, red wine, very civilised. Everyone's looking pretty good. Jo's still got his tie on. Not a silly face to be seen.
But this facade never lasts. After all, the night naturally progresses. Shots are had. Margaritas seem like a great idea. Look closely at the next two photos: there's only ONE person in both of them who can't keep his eyes open. (clue: his name starts with T and ends with Urnsie.)
And then...well. The next image speaks for itself. What can really be said except oh dear. Of course, Lauren and I are still looking fresh-faced, happy, ready to embrace the night. Turnsie, on the other hand, looks like he's about to vomit.
Things quickly go downhill after that. The boys decide they want to go to the retro, biggest dive in Sydney and therefore one of our favourite places. But the girls aren't in the mood - Lauren says she knows a Karaoke place nearby and I jump for joy. My voice is at its premium after a few drinks, so i was raring to go. And Lauren, sheesh. You practically have to ply the microphone from her hands just to get a turn. I'm surprised she doesn't carry one in her handbag. Turnsie wanted to come with us, but Jo wasn't having any of that...
Except Lauren wouldn't leave without a quick snap with the DJ. (or was that my idea? i really couldn't tell you.) It takes me three tries to get this picture, which i guess was a sign of things to come....
And then we were off! Off to Ding Dong Dang Karaoke Bar, and yes, that is its real name. We were lucky too, because there was only one booth left and it had our name all over it. Unfortunately, the place only sells Tooheys New in a can, but that's OK. By that point, we'd drink anything anyway. By the looks of it, i was very proud of my can(s) (haha).
Then things get blurry. I know that Lauren took charge of the music, and all our old favourites made the cut (Sweet Child of Mine, anyone?). I took great pleasure in hogging the mike, and as you can see, became the embodiment of a true star. I mean look at me. I could be Beyonce.
We had only paid for an hour, but it flew by was to quickly and we knew it wasn't enough. Even Kat, who we dragged kicking and screaming to the joint, insisted we go again. Our voices had warmed up and we were really showing up all the other groups. They had nothing on us.
So we pay for another hour and we're in the middle of setting up an Oasis medley when out of nowhere, WHO should appear???
Turnsie! Like a homing pigeon, he'd found his way back to us. Apparently he'd been "escorted" from the last place he was at with the boys, but the night wasn't over for him yet. It doesn't matter how drunk you are, Karaoke welcomes everyone into its warm embrace.
I was glad Turnsie was there, because he really gets into it. He's got moves I've never seen. Check this out! Not sure what it's called but this move is totally bitchin'!
I don't think we could have taken ANOTHER hour even if we wanted to, but we got our fix and that was the main thing. Who knows when the itch will take hold again, but until then - keep livin' on a prayer people. You know what I'm talking about.
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Dear Readers,
ReplyDeleteWhere to begin??? How does one defend oneself from such accusations??
First let me point out that this is not the first time such slander has been hurled at me in this blog.
And yet again this column has decended to the level of gutter journalism. It's tacky, tabloid trash. Nothing more. Nothing less.
While not wanting to lend credibilty to this nonsense I will recount some of the events.
The night becane innocently enough. I agree with Ornella there. And this is important readers. I am happy to agree where the facts are correct. I take exception at the falsehoods.
Yes we started at the pub and then proceeed to a mexican place. The place was packed I got frustrated and went to bail. Have an early night and all that. I probalby was over the top bagging the place (see I cant admit my faults unlike our blogger) and should have bided my time. But slow booze on a Friday night is a reciepe for trouble. I will point out too that the the place was the victim of an armed holdup a few nights later. Classy joint!
Then I went with the lads for a couple of quiet drinks.
I am heading home when I receive a call from Ornella, saying they are at Karroke and to come and join them. Some history readers, the last time I joined Ornella and McCarron for Karaoke I was punched and kicked by them in a frenzied attack during my performance of MC Hammers "You cant touch this". (Note. I recall no mention of this cowardly attack in prevoius entries on the blog)
So you can imagine I approached with great trepidation. As I enter the establishment I felt like a knight entering the dragons lair I wll tell you.
I go into the room and what do i find? Not one dragon but two of the dreaded beasts. Both in full cry. Both as drunk as skunks.
You can only imagine the reception.
I treated the girls to a couple of my signature tunes "Kids in America" and "Eye of the Tiger" if I recall. Before we called it a night.
So once again the blogger has provided a part truth part sensationalism. I am sure you can see through the mud throwing. As for the photos I am sure only the most incriminating were selected. Like a celebrity caught without thier make up. That sort of thing.
Anyway I will continue to monitor the blog vigilantly and when duty calls pursue the truth.
Turnsie